This will be short, I really cannot bear crying much more. Not that I have tonight but on the 26th I could have rivaled Niagara Falls.
It was the 8th anniversary of my mother’s death due to multiple causes. Smoking being the major unifying theme.
While she got to hold one of her grand babies, we never shared a mother’s day or learned about each other as mothers on a more level ground. There were no phone calls asking her if I did that as a baby or bragging about her grandchild’s milestones.
My uncle put together a wonderful video of clips showing my mom through her childhood years and it was beautiful. The next day he sent me a message saying my mom was beautiful, and fun, and a wonderful person. Remember that and smile.
He is so right. At the end he had added in the poem I wrote the day she died and I was glad to know that I can now read it with a smile and not heartache. Well, not the overwhelming all-consuming kind. The ache will always be there.
I miss you, Mama.
~ ~ ~
I am the breeze across your skin,
I am the heartbeat from within,
I am the music that stirs your soul,
I am the will you will never let go.
I am in the sky, I am in the sea…
I am in the grass, and I am in the trees.
I am everywhere you will ever be,
so please, don’t you cry for me.